I’m not smart enough to tend bar at an Ivy League college, let alone matriculate at one. And, without the benefit of those four rageful years marinating in corrosive concepts like settler colonialism, intersectionality, heteropatriarchy, environmental justice, and anti-racism, it’s impossible for me, a mere “deplorable,” to understand why elites want what they want.

For example, I can’t unravel why it’s awesome for biological males to outmuscle biological females in competitive sports since it’s pretty obvious to me that the fun of competitive sports is that they’re ... what’s the word? ... competitive. The criticality of already stressed-out deplorables driving range anxiety-inducing electric cars also baffles me. As does how elites can call themselves democracy’s defenders when they’re using every dirty trick in the lawfare book to kick the frontrunner out of the presidential race.

As difficult as those concepts are, I’m most confused by the elites’ unwavering DEI – DEI? Is that really a coincidence? – efforts to re-segregate us by race. I know it’s super important for elites to believe that we deplorables are racists and they’re not; their incessant, mixed-race couple television commercials clearly demonstrate their determination to hector us about this. But to us, they’re endlessly insulting.

You see, while Harvard has been busy litigating for race-based admissions and holding segregated graduation ceremonies, we deplorables of every race have been out here in the workaday world happily dating, studying, working, partying, competing, marrying, worshipping and graduating together. None of us care whom our kids marry (unless they graduated Harvard).

Dr. King taught us that racism is ignorance because it judges people by the color of their skin, not the content of their character. So, if someone teaches that racism is justified, they are merely peddling ignorance. Outthinking Dr. King is definitely a challenge, but maybe Dr. Ibram X. Kendi, “the kind, dignified, preternaturally wise, and soft-spoken teacher, indefatigable in his quest to set you on the path towards true knowledge” (–GQ) can provide an effective rebuttal to Dr. King’s lesson.

Dr. Kendi recently said, “I don’t think white people worldwide have really reckoned with how much their own personal identity is shaped by constructions of whiteness, and how much that construction of whiteness prevents white people from connecting to humanity.” (Just for fun, try to think of historical figures who’ve said similar things.) A dehumanizing statement beyond repulsive to deplorables, but mother’s milk to our elite ruling class.

Undaunted by the atavistic creepiness of such ideas and hiding behind pernicious concepts like “whiteness,” elites – who somehow manage to overthink yet half-bake everything – were one hundred percent sure they could let slip the dogs of racism and sic them only on white people.

And then in the aftermath of October 7th, racism – it’s so slippery that way – escaped from its “whiteness lab” and was directed toward – who would ever have guessed? – the Jews. You see, of all the colonizers (and they’re not even really colonizers) in all of history, it’s only Israeli Jews who are to be brutally evicted. No one’s talking about loading up the Mayflower with all of its white shoed progeny and sailing it back to England. Although, come to think of it….

And so here we deplorables are, watching in horror as our most highly esteemed colleges are revealed to have, through some hideous reverse alchemy, turned our brightest students into benighted antisemites shamelessly glorifying Hamas and casually tormenting Jewish students. This is made darker still by the sure knowledge that these Ivy Hamasniks will, by dint of their radiant resumes, eventually (as well as automatically) ascend to command the heights of all our most influential institutions.

Very, very unfortunately, they are our future.

All of which reminded me that last October, Hillary Clinton compared Trump supporters to cultists and opined with her usual scowl, “At some point, maybe there needs to be a formal deprogramming of the cult members.”

At first, I laughed it off as another wacky example of “Clinsanity.” But now, after watching our leafy Ivy campi outed as screaming vortices of virulent antisemitism, I have come to believe that she is absolutely right; I don’t believe that I will ever understand elites’ malign ideology without some time spent under Hillary’s shrill tutelage.

Therefore, I hereby volunteer to be her first deprogramee.

It’s clear elites are forcing racism on America. Hillary, please “deprogram” me so I can understand why that’s not a nightmare.

Photo Credit- National Review