Spring is here and on this Friday, April 1st we thought we would take a break from the tumultuous news cycle to talk about The Everyman’s plans for the future. When we started this site almost four years ago, our goal was to provide quality essays and reviews that are “relevant, reasonable, and above all readable for the everyman." Since that time we have endeavored to seek out astute and articulate writers who, like our readers, seek the truth, sacrifice for those they love, and engage with his world.
After a slow start, the site has steadily grown as we began to post articles on a wider array of topics. And now that we are utilizing a variety of social media platforms our reader base has broadened to readers as far away as Italy! It's no exaggeration to say that The Everyman is now an online force to be reckoned with against the algorithmically-induced anxieties and aneurysms produced by click bait sites staffed by college grads who would rather spring for a PlayStation 5 than move out of their parent’s basement.
With that in mind, we would like to take a moment to thank all of our readers who have supported our work. Without your patronage, we would not have lasted as long as we have, and for that we are truly grateful. Secondly, let’s face it, as institutions like The Daily Wire have shown, commentary alone is not sufficient to combat all of the woke running amok in every nook and cranny of our culture’s institutions, both governmental and private. Thus we would like to highlight some of the new ventures and initiatives we have in mind at The Everyman. Which will include...
We are proud to announce the formation of a publishing arm at The Everyman. We scoured writer’s conventions and crowdfunding sites to find aspiring authors who can provide the kind of stories and information the public is hungry for, without being preached to. Our first publication will be a novel by author Antonius Fractious Minimus, a physician who has first had experience as a bio-lab researcher, entitled World War C,
“Originating in the Orient, the mysterious C virus spreads across the world, and opportunistic governments create panic, shut down economies and quarantine their populations. Even as they unleash the Four Horsemen of Wuhan – war, pestilence, famine, and death – it becomes clear something is wrong: billions of people are unaffected! Lurid warnings of new variants increase to hold the world in thrall for two years, as citizens ignore them, becoming disaffected and angry. Is there hope beyond the pain? Read the book to find out!”
Later this year we will be publishing Inflation: A Love Story by Erica Octavia Judith-Marm. Author of the seven-volume The Definition of Woman: Post-Marxist, Post-Structuralist, Post-Hegelian, Feminist, Queerist, Libertarian, Juche, Black Hebrew Israelite, and Absurdist Approaches as well as her political tour de force Orange Man Bad. In this this magnum opus of economic theory Judith-Marm lays out,
The stunning case for how America's runaway inflation is a rising tide that will lift us into a new era of utopic gender and ethnic equality. She also dispels the deeply unfounded (and probably racist) myths of the economic right like "balanced budgets," "hyperinflation," and "the gold standard." And she shares the moving stories of everyday people thriving during inflationary times, past and present, such as Franz Herman Von Underfet who describes the deep sense of community his family felt while roasting rats in the streets of Weimar Berlin over burning piles of Deutschmarks. Or the inspiring tale Enrique Hambriento's experiences in Venezuela’s days of 600% inflation rates, as he achieves the kind of class solidarity we all long for by forming gangs to hold up truck drivers on rural roads to steal bread, shoes, toilet paper, and other basic necessities for your family.
Reserve your copies now!
Let’s face it Hollywood and Disney have jumped the shark and deserve to be the surprise guests on a revised edition of To Catch a Predator with Christ Hansen. And this is why we have decided to team up with an indie movie studio called Better Dead Than Red Productions to produce entertaining films that uphold our values here at the site. Our first film, a tense political thriller called Ready President One, is already in production,
“The election of 2024 has just happened, Ron DeSantis is now the president of the United States and Donald Trump is the Speaker of the House. In an effort to save face after botching the Russia-Ukraine war (as Kyiv lies in radioactive ruin), Biden and Harris are hinting that they will not accept the results of the election, and it appears that a Civil War is imminent. In an attempt to save the country, a story of comet passing by the earth is concocted and thus for their safety, the president, the VP, and certain members of congress are told not to look up and are shuttled to an underground bunker. There Biden and what’s left of his administration “govern” the country and his supporters over a Zuckerbergian Metaverse. However, the Russians and the Chinese have caught on and are trying to hack into the virtual facade. Will they succeed and plunge the world into war and misery? Find out in 2023.
On the Ground Reporting
Ever since senior editor J. Antonio Juarez donned a “bum” costume in order to safely enter and photograph the mostly-peaceful George Floyd Autonomous Zone in Minneapolis, there has been a clamor by our readers for more on the ground reporting. So we have recruited Josephine Anne Polemarch (JAP), an intrepid veteran of the media wars who has a White House media pass, to cover the political beat. Recently she was adept enough to evade the President’s wife and his handlers to ask him a few questions. The exchange has since gone viral not only because it was a fine display of the President's mental acuity, but as it turns out, he has heard of The Everyman and has recognized our hard work ("highly intellectual work at...").
JAP: Mr. President, do you feel there is room for an independent conservative Catholic voice in the national dialog?
Biden: "I don’t want to get going on that because I’d keep you here too long because you know all what I’m about to, what I’ve said, and you know what I’ve done, and you know what we’re doing, and I know what you’re doing.”
JAP: "With respect, Mr. President, the conservative Catholic voice seems marginalized in your Administration."
Biden: “I probably have a much higher IQ than you do, I suspect, so I don't want to engage in a dogfight with you."
JAP: "Mr. President, how do you respond to substantiated claims of plagiarism..."
Biden: "I know you are supposed to be doing highly intellectual work at The Every Person or The Everyone or The Every Other or whatever the heck your rag is called, but when you say 'plagiarism,' you are a lying dog-faced pony soldier."
JAP: "Mr. President, if I may follow up on your remark, which I will not take personally..."
Biden: "I meant it personally, just so you know."
With a correspondent like Polemarch, the reporting at this site can only get better!
A Merch Shop
And lastly what site worth it’s clicks and views doesn’t have a merch shop where its readers and contributors can help support The Everyman? We will now be offering a few items such as,
Soy Slayer Energy Drink
Have you ever heard someone who is fed with something or someone say that “it’s time to open up a can of whoop ass”? Well, here at The Everyman we know that feeling all too well! That’s why we are launching our own brand of energy drink called “Soy Slayer!” It’s an all-natural beverage that contains caffeine that has been infused with nano-particles of endorphins. So not only will this drink detoxify your body of the harmful effects of a high-sugar, high-processed card, soy based diet, but it will give you the energy and clarity of mind needed to take on and destroy any argument borne of a CRAP-py (Critical Race Applied Principles) education.
What better way to show your support for The Everyman than by openly displaying it when you're out and about. So we have designed some great t-shirts for our readers.
a. Tired of the spin and lies coming out of this administration and their lackeys in the corporate media? Well now you can showcase your cynicism with our tee that features the king of sin and spin himself Rep. Adam Schiff which says “That sounds like a load of Bull-Schiff!”
b. Even though the truth about the Wuhan virus’ origins have been known since day one, it is still a contentious topic to talk about. Well fear not, because now our readers can state the facts loud and clear while others pass by unawares, with our t-shirts that says “Made in China” in Latin ("Factum Est in Sina") along with the Chinese characters for the CCP on a virus.
c. With food and fertilizer shortages looking to get worse by the Fall, next year’s Christmas might be rich in family life and liturgy, but poor in goods. So why not plan ahead (no seriously buy this t-shirt now, because the price will quadruple by December!) and purchase our “Joe Grinch Left Me S***” tee to remind everyone who to blame!